How do you practice caring for yourself?

It's such a simple question to ask yet harder to answer. In a world of transactional relationships, scary news, social media overload and difficult environmental stressors, it can seem almost impossible to care for oneself.

As a psychotherapist,I listen for clues to tell how my client may or not be taking good care of oneself. Some folks have grown up with the idea it's selfish to take time for oneself when another's needs seems more pressing. Some people have grown up with neglect and haven't had good role models for learning how to care for oneself. Some folks have gotten so busy with work and making money to survive so focusing on one's physical and mental health takes a backseat.

I understand. I, too, have struggled with self-care. Yes, the therapist needs to also be mindful and self-aware. We are all struggling with something. Nobody takes better care of ourselves than we do. We are allowed to take time out to step away from stressful situations or people. Turning to external sources for relief, like substances, alcohol, food, shopping and codependent relationships may bring immediate relief but in the long run, this will NOT be good for our self regulation.

So, what is self-care? Here are some of my idea and suggestions:

• taking time to listen to yourself and your intuition (that inner knowing voice)

• take time to relax

• take time to exercise (swimming and walking are two of my faves)

• listen to your feelings and honor your experience

• get adequate rest and nap when tired

• spend time with people who are good for your soul

• allow yourself to laugh, sing, dance, and play

• treat your body with respect and nourish yourself with healthy foods

• stay hydrated

• go to the doctors for regular checkups

• pay attention to positive messages and LET go of the negative NOISE

• find a spiritual connection (meditation and prayer help me a lot!)

• share time with people who are good for your soul

The past few years of my life have brought some incredibly painful experiences: divorce, moving to a new state, caring for an aging mother and lastly, coping with breast cancer and a double mastectomy. Nothing like going through cancer for a second time! Leaning into self-care became vital because I needed and wanted to survive.

Sadly, it's true that many folks are feeling increased anxiety, stress and depression in today's world. Learning to limit the noise of outside distractions (social media and news) can help one to feel calmer. I will continue to list resources and ideas in future blogs about self care. Finding a friend or a good therapist to support and listen to you (without judgement) is an easy way to begin getting some positive relief.

It is vital for all of us to be kinder and gentler with each other in a world that seems so divisive and explosive. There is always hope. Please reach out if you want to share your ideas for self-care. Please know you deserve to take good care of yourself. If you need help, reach out to me or a friend.

Until my next post, take care of your precious self.