HOPE or Hold On Pain Ends.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the concept of hope. When the world seems cuckoo cruel and darkness seems to be all around us, I find it can be challenging to have hope and faith that we will get through difficult times. Current affairs, politics and news seem to be more and more negative. I can feel anxious and fearful, just as my clients do. And, then, I remember what I have survived in the past few years -- divorce, my mother's ongoing dementia, moving from NYC to Central Florida and dealing with breast cancer and a double mastectomy. Some of these darkest experiences have led to growth and opportunities beyond my wildest dreams.

How do I take care of myself and hold onto hope, you might ask me. Regular therapy sessions and support groups helped guide me out of some truly dark days. Allowing myself to weep, write, draw and swim enabled me to process the many changes of the past few years. Each time I picked myself up off the floor from a crying jag, or felt the hug of a caring friend, I got closer to understanding how hope was often born from surviving intense grief and pain. Not only did I survive a tsunami of massive changes, but I stayed in a mainly hopeful place because I remained vigilant to my emotional well-being.

Working as a therapist gives me a lot of joy and hope. It is a privilege to listen to my clients process their experiences and emotions in our sessions. I hear their courage, pain and strength as they face ongoing stressors and challenges of daily life. Psychotherapy can and often does help them find their hope even when dark times, depression, anxiety, addiction and relational problems can make it hard to believe there is light.

I am by no means saying that hope is an easy state of mind to access when one is hurting and frightened. Often, the therapist will hold up a metaphoric light and mirror to help the client understand and explore issues which can be deep-seated or quite visible. A good therapist will listen without judgment while creating a safe space for the client to do the work of self-examination and healing. Sometimes, a therapist can provide insights to assist the client in the very important work of psychotherapy.

Hope is a bi-product of recognizing there is a way out of a painful situation. It may be a simple insight that arises after a few sessions or it may be lightening bolt of inspiration that unexpectedly give the client a sense of well-being and positivity.

Hope is, in my opinion, a cousin of faith. I once heard that faith is 'Finally Allowing it To Happen' -- a terrific way of saying let go and trust the process. Hope is a tool that can make it possible to believe in something better, whether for oneself or the world at large. Surrounding oneself with people who are kind, nurturing, uplifting and emotionally safe/available can help foster an environment where hope thrives. The power of community and connection is not to be underestimated. Grassroots organizing is more prevalent in this country when people are rising up against a divisive and dangerous government.

I allow myself to be open to surprises. Sometimes, people will delight me in the most unexpected and hopeful ways. Recently, I was shopping at a local flea market for rubber ducks for my Jeep's dashboard. I was horrified by some of the duckies on display; (think Orange cheetoh, felon president) but I ddn't say anything as I wanted to be polite and share how much I love duckies and positive bumper stickers on my happy orange Jeep. Turns out, the shop owner was happy to share with me that she sends the profits of her duck sales to Planned Parenthood. Nice surprise! I left her booth, full of hope and gratitude for these actions she is taking to better the lives of women.

So, call me a hope-aholic! For myself, I protect my mind and heart by what I allow myself to absorb. I do not spend time with people who emit negative energy. I foster relationships with loving souls and take time to connect with my spiritual practice. I make sure to take care of myself so I can be healthy enough to provide hope and healing both professionally and personally.

How do you find hope in your life?