Hold Space for Yourself

January 27, 2026

Early in my journey to becoming a therapist, I was fascinated by the concept of the "holding environment," introduced by psychoanalyst D.H. Winnicott in 1953. This idea emphasizes the crucial role of a nurturing and secure space where a client can share their deepest secrets, desires, and anxieties without the fear of judgment. In essence, by establishing this holding environment, the therapist serves as a supportive and nurturing listener—an idealization of a mother who provides a sense of safety and love essential for a child's development. Today, the need for these secure emotional spaces is more vital than ever.

I have always valued the sanctity of confidentiality.   My clients expect to be heard as they trust  their stories will be guarded by me.  They deserve to be seen and witnessed.  It is crucial I listen without judgment so the client feels courageous enough to do the deep work of exploration in talk therapy.  

For over 20 plus years, I have held space for clients who have voiced concerns about a variety of topics, including depression, anxiety, addiction and pain.  Most people have a common need to be heard without worrying that they will be scrutinized or shamed, while they search for answers that will help them cope and heal.  Difficult childhoods and traumatic events can be damaging enough to deny t foster a safe psychological space for them to share different opinions or emotions.  Many clients have been deeply hurt by family and friends by the time they make it to their first therapy session.  

For more than two decades, I have provided a safe space for clients struggling with issues like depression, anxiety, addiction, and pain. A fundamental need for most people is to be truly heard—without fear of scrutiny or shame—as they seek ways to cope and heal.

It's common for a difficult past, including traumatic events or childhood experiences, to prevent individuals from experiencing the necessary psychological safety to express diverse opinions and emotions. By the time many clients arrive for their first therapy session, they have already suffered deep hurt from family and friends. I have noticed an increase in the sharing of fears and concerns related outside issues beyond one’s individual wounds.  There has been an activation of dormant anxiety and complex trauma in many of my clients.  The  feelings related to complex trauma include guilt, worthlessness, hypervigilance and avoidance. I would also add an increase in compulsive behaviors and insomnia as people try to process the news of the world. 

We are witnessing catastrophic levels of  violence, tumult and division with an over abundance of  easy access to multiple sources of information including social media and news platforms. More than ever, I am reminded of the importance of providing an atmosphere of supportive listening so one can feel safe in a protected confidential space where one can explore their issues.  

Personally, I have been able to foster a chosen family and community of trusted individuals who honor each other’s experiences and challenges with tender loving care.  Friends are vital. Spending time with like minded folk who care about the state of our democracy gives me In an era marked by catastrophic levels of violence, tumult, and division, exacerbated by the sheer volume of information from social media and news platforms, I am more strongly reminded than ever of the crucial need for supportive listening. It is essential to offer a protected, confidential space where individuals can feel safe exploring their challenges.

On a personal level, I have cultivated a chosen family and community of trusted people who honor one another's experiences and struggles with tender, loving care. Friends are vital. Spending time with like-minded individuals who share concerns about the state of our democracy gives me support and hope.  

Lastly,  a few tips for self-care:

Connect and Be Supported

• Find friends and others who can support you.

• Seek out those who can truly hold space for you during difficult periods—whether you are facing the threat of cancer, the shadow of addiction, or overwhelming anxiety, darkness, and despair.

• Allow someone to hold space for you and remember you don't have to face trying times alone.

Practice Self-Care

• Limit your news intake and avoid excessive "doom scrolling."

• Take three deep breaths frequently throughout the day.

• Prioritize rest and enjoy a few naps.

• Ground yourself and practice gratitude for the good things in your life.

• Engage in exercise, such as swimming, walking, yoga, cardio, or weight training.

• Remember to laugh and seek joy whenever possible.

My practice continues to hold space for new clients.

Take care of your precious self. You are worth it.